In Loving Memory of Uleen Toovey aka Chroma

This past Saturday, one of our fellow Chat Team members, and our friend, died during a white water rafting accident. Uleen, known to most of us as Chromasmear, was dear to many of us, and we are all saddened by the sudden loss. Our hearts go out to her family in their time of grief.

Each of us remembers her for something. Whether it was her indomitable spirit when it came to fighting for the causes of animals, supporting shelters and rescues in an attempt to give them all a chance at finding a loving home, or her tireless work ethic and ideals toward perfection when it came to creating banners for our shops - working and re-working them as much as necessary so that we were happy with her work.

There is a poem, in Norse Canon that is called the Havamal, or Sayings of the High One. It is a collection of pithy, and not so pithy, advice on how to live an honorable life, and how to keep out of trouble. One of the best known verses to Norse Pagans (called Heathens), is

Cattle die, Kinsmen die,
one day you die yourself;
but the words of praise will not perish
when a man wins fair fame.

I was asked to write her memorial post, as I had talked to her quite frequently, both in late night chat, as well as off etsy. It has been hard for me to come up with something to say that I feel will remember her best, because this isn't only about my memories of her, but all of ours. Each of us knew her in our own way, had our own relationship with her. She was the voice of reason in the chat rooms, the one we could talk to when we needed to vent steam about our shops, someone to laugh with just to pass the time... So I would like to invite all of you to share your favorite memory of her here in this entry.

No matter how large or small a way, she touched our lives, however briefly, and while each of us will grieve her loss in our own ways, grief that is shared is lessened. By each of our words, by sharing our experiences of her, and with her, I believe that she will live on in each of us.

Her latest project was going to be a sampler box collection with the proceeds going to a local animal rescue. As that is no longer possible, her family is requesting that donations be given to our local animal shelters and rescues in her memory, so that her work of aiding these furbabies in need can continue.

No matter how you choose to memorialize her, to remember her, know that each thought shared, each gift in her honor, will keep her alive for us all. Below is a poem she wrote and published earlier this year.

You were never an outsider to us Chroma, and we all miss you, and wish you well on your journey.

The Outsider

I am the one you called strange,
You never tried to understand.
My determined apathy amused you,
Do you know how loneliness feels?
Your blows of cruel judgement would fire,
My shiny armour absorbed it all.
My soul scared from your attack,
A decade passes,
My soul still howls in pain.
You thought I was the slow one,
It is sad you couldn't comprehend.
Denial of all compassionate guilt,
Your small world shall never grow.
Just leave me in that far corner,
Your worth didn't earn one tear.
Your empty values rewarded you nothing,
Angry power you sought over me,
Never empowered your black world.
I am the one you called strange,
When it was you who sought emptiness.

Copyright ©2009 Uleen Ann Toovey

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